9-3-02 ךיראתל ןוכדע - עובשה יקרפ טירסת
2 דומע

[starr is Watching TV]
TV : Coming up later, exotic reptiles from the bronx zoo.
Starr: Awesome.
TV: And our first annual cutest baby contest. But, first, these important messages.
Starr: I don't think so.
[srarr Turns tv off]
Blair: Well, did you hear that? Did you hear that? The cutest baby contest? Yes!
We should send your picture in. You know why? You could win that hands down.
Yes, you could, jack. Yes, you could.
Ben: Voila.
Viki: Very good.
Ben: It's all i can do.
Todd: When do we eat? I am starving.
Viki: Ok. You're also early, but you're free to help.
Todd: No, I don't think so.
Ben: You don't know what you're missing.
Todd: No, I know exactly what i'm missing.
Viki: Ok, do you mind? Thank you. Where's blair? Where are the children?
Todd: I don't know. They'll be here soon.
Renee: Todd, could you hand me that plastic wrap, please? Thank you, viki.
Viki: Oh, you're welcome. Thank you, todd.
Todd: I'm just here for jessica.
Viki: Oh, not for the food?
Todd: What food? There is no food. When we do this whole adoption ceremony thing,
it's not like we're going to have to take off our clothes and dance naked around a fire, are we?
Ben: Hey, maybe after everyone leaves.
Viki: I simply thought it would be nice to gather everyone together, friends and family,
to celebrate jessica's formal adoption.
Todd; plus, it's a really good way to stick it to what's-her-name.
Viki: To who?
Todd: You know, what's-her-face. Natalie.
Jessica: Oh. I didn't realize that you were in here.
Blair: You are the cutest baby in the whole wide world. Yes, you are. Do you know what?
We can't send a picture in because it just wouldn't be -- it just wouldn't be fair
to all the other little babies.
Starr: Nce when did you care about what's fair?
Blair: Did you say something?
Starr: I said you better go fix your hair. We're going to be late!
Blair: All right.
Starr: "you're the cutest, most adorable baby in the whole wide world."
i'm twice as adorable as you'll ever be.
{starr's imagination} imagination ["Regis & kelly" theme plays]
regis: And now, as promised, we're going to announce the winner of the cutest baby contest.
Kelly: I've got the envelope right, here, reeg.
Regis: Ok, open it already. End america's suspense!
Kelly: Ok. The winner of the cutest baby contest is --
regis: Jack cramer manning!
Starr: Is that your final answer?
Regis: Wait a minute, wait a minute, kelly. Who is this?
Kelly: I don't know, but she's gorgeous!
Regis: Absolutely stunning.
Kelly: Jack cramer manning looks like a dog next to her!
Regis: Oh, I'd say a major bow-wow. Give this kid the award!
Kelly: But, regis, she's not a baby.
Regis: Who cares? She was a baby once. The trophy is here. Here you go.
Starr: Thank you, regis. Thank you, kelly. And I'd like to thank all the little people
who helped make me so adorable.
Blair: Starr, you look like the cat who swallowed the canary. What's going on?
Starr: Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about my favorite tv show.
Viki: Come on! I gave birth to natalie. She's my daughter!
Todd: No, jessica is your daughter. Natalie went out of her way to hurt jessica.
I don't like it when people hurt people.
Viki: Really? Well, that's actually kind of nice that you feel that way about jessie.
Todd: Yeah. Now that i know that jessica's not really related to you, I can see why I felt that way about her.
Viki: You're just a silver-tongued devil, aren't you? All charm.
Todd: Well, she doesn't hassle me like you do. She doesn't lecture me.
Viki: You're right. She doesn't know you as well as i do.
Todd: Either that, or maybe you're just a ...
Viki: A what?
Todd: I don't know. Maybe I should just sht up.
Ben and renee: Good idea.
Ben: Oh, absolutely. Asa, after you wash your hands, you can take all the hors d'oeuvres
and transfer them to the larger silver platters.
Asa: Over my dead body.
Ben: It's your dead body that got you in this mess in the first place.
Todd: Let me get this straight. Asa is the cater-waiter?
Renee: So said judge fitzwater when she sentenced him to 150 hours of community service
for faking his own death.
Asa: Yeah, well, I can't wait till her re-election comes up.
Viki: She doesn't come up for re-election.
Todd: Garcon, I would really like some more of those little quiche things. I really love those.
Asa: Stuff it, manning!
Todd: You stuff it. You stuff the little mushrooms! You know what?
I think I'll have a blood mary, extra spicy, with two little celery sticks.
Viki: Will you shut up?
Todd: Come on!
Ben: That's enough, todd!
Todd: Yeah, but you said he was the waiter.
Ben: Yeah, but he's not a bartender and he's not a slave. So give him a break!
Asa: Why'd you do that?
Ben: You have to pay your debt to society, not to todd manning.
Blair: This is jack cckmer manning. Hello!
Lois: Mrs. Davidson told me congratulations.
Blair: Thank you.
Nora: Oh, look at that. Oh, blair, he's gorgeous!
Blair: Isn't he?
Nora: Yes! Can I hold him?
Blair: Yes, you may! In fact, you can help me. You grab him and i'll take --
Todd: Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't get to touch him. You don't get to ...
blair: Todd! Todd ...
Todd: No, you don't get to touch him because i don't like you.
Blair: Please, todd.
Nora: Well, I don't like you, either. But I do like your son, probably because he doesn't
have of any of your genes in him. No offense, starr.
Starr: If my daddy doesn't like you, then i don't like you, either.
Blair: Starr manning!
Todd: Hey, you know what? We got to go inside. We got to drop stuff on the ground and then
get the cater-waiter to pick it up.
Blair: What? Todd: You'll understand. Come on.
Blair: Excuse us.
Nora: Mm-hmm.
Blair: What?
Todd: We haven't met. i'm your uncle todd.
Natalie: Yeah, the rapist.
Todd: You got a big mouth.
Natalie: Well, I get that from the woman that raised me, roxy, jessica's real mother.
Todd: A word of advice -- you want to survive in this family, you stay on my good side.
Natalie: What? You mean you have a good side?
Todd: Don't mess around with jessica.
Natalie: Well, I would never do that. Jessica's going to be my real sister. I wouldn't dream of hurting her.
Todd: Prove it.
Natalie: Fine. I'll prove it.
Todd: You know, I'm really not buying natalie's nicey-nice act.
Viki: Well, you know what? I don't think it's an act. Come on. You better than anyone should
understand how difficult it is to overcome a bad childhood. Give her a break!
Todd: Whatever. The thing I don't get is how you didn't know that allison gave you
the wrong baby. I mean, even back then, they could not have looked alike. I mean,
I think a mother should really know what her own baby looks like.
Viki: Yes, she should.
Blair: Oh, viki, what a lovely party.
Viki: Thank you.
Blair: We're having such a great time.
Viki: Oh, I'm so glad. Good.
Blair: But, you know, I'm very interested in -- where did you -- what agency, actually, did you
go through for your wait staff?
Viki: A very temporary one. Mr. Jack! I'm so glad you came!
Blair: thank you.
Viki: Oh, he's so sweet! And here she is, the lady of the hour. Are you having fun, honey?
Jessica: Yes. Of course, i am. I cannot believe how delicious he is! Todd: Oh, my god. Who stinks?
Jessica: What?
Viki: Todd!
Todd: Oh, you got to leave before the ceremony, don't you think?
Blair: Well, I'll check him. I don't know. Hey.
Nora: Hey.
Ben: Hey.
Nora: Excuse me, todd.
Viki: Hi.
Nora: Hi.
Ben: You know, we just have to talk about some final arrangements.
Nora: Do you mind?
Viki: Oh, sure. Excuse me.
Todd: It's your big day, huh?
Jessica: Yeah.
Todd: You know, you get to finally be what you've always already been.
Jessica: Yeah, go figure, huh?
Todd: Right. I still get to be your uncle, right?
Jessica: Yes!
Todd: Promise?
Jessica: Of course. I promise.
Todd: No matter what?
Jessica: No matter what.
Judge fitzwater: Oh. Waiter, I would like one of those. Mr. Buchanan, what a surprise.
Asa: How about a damn napkin?